A story of letting go and of those left behind, Benjamin explores the deep and complicated facets of human emotion. It follows Amily, a young woman, through her long and tumultuous relationship with Benjamin, who has over the years been dream, friend, teacher, lover, and finally, uneasy companion. When she learns that Benjamin has been diagnosed with cancer, although she hasn’t seen him in years, she rushes back to her hometown, so that he can finally teach her the final lesson: how to say goodbye.
I remember my dreams as impressions rather than images; my mind is wired for words and language, not visuals.
In the haze of sleep I feel lost. I think I’m scared, but it might just be hurt. There’s a feeling like nausea of the mind, a deep rooted sadness that can seem like sickness. My heart is retching. Someone unseen has betrayed me. I am reeling in the aftermath.
My mind is dark, and I am alone. That much, I know for sure.
When I wake up, it isn’t morning yet, and my first thought is of Benjamin. It has been every morning for nine years now. I try to go back to sleep, but it’s something called insomnia. There are three patterns for it to follow and I’ve had the one they call ‘nocturnal awakenings’ for years now. I lay in the dark and I think of him, and how he did this to me, left me tired and pale and isolated.
By the time the sun rises and leaves me lying in a patch of yellow, I’ve managed to convince myself all over again that I’ve done it to myself.
And that’s the way it should be.
Look for Benjamin, my contemporary New Adult title from Melange Books and Fire and Ice, coming the end of this month!